| Im gonig to update. Its 4:09 in the morning. I feel like I need to do this. Tomorrow I have to make a decision. I think its important. My girl Reba will be supporting me and helping me hopefully. I love her beyond belief. At a time like this when late and early meet emotions seem to run high. This is one of the flaws of humans. We arent nocturnal. If we were we would be much more in touch with our emotions. WE think better. Tomorrow everyone I know becomes paper. I mtreat them as paper. White paper and multicolored paper. I chose to make a xanga blog. Not a myspace one for a reason. I dont remember that reason now. They all become paper. They are put in a state where I choose wether on not they belong in the folder that is my life. Some papers stay. Some go. Some I will try to recreate. But they will only be copies. Never the way they would be if I kept them. Im so so sorry Jannika. I searched myself and found a hole. Shaped like you. I need sleep. My bed is soaked in my sweat and spit and tears. I hate my walls. SOmetime it almsot seems better if they were gone. Rain and mud and creatures and nature and cold take over anyway. Im sitting in a box. I have to vomit. Ok. Done. Flavor. Do you think theres reason things taste bad. Why would vomit if there was. Vomit is not negative. Its a rid of the bad. Whereas sugar. Something that can make you quite large tastes like imagination. Tomorrow may involve blood. Hopefully more of his than my own. For the first time in my life I want to take life. I hate you Michael. More than ive ever hated anyone. I hate him more because of this emotional time of the night/morning.I want to remove his spine with my bare hadns and make him into waht his heart reflects. A WORM. If this gets a comment I will know that what has passed through me on this night wasnt mine to feel alone. I can feel the rest of you. Whatever has taken me for this night. I would welcome it back in an instant. I say instant not because of the expression but becasue im seeing instants. I can see now that time was made by humans. Time is slow. I see things changing. I jsut threw my water pitcher. I watched water move. Change shape frame by frame like slow motion on bad video quality. I want to breakthrough all these walls all of them. Liek the shawshank redemption. redemption redemption redemption Re re demp re demp demp shi o redtion REDEMPTIONNNNNNNNNOITPMEDER redemeptio[ndzspjogjnsj; sd;ogijfdo; |
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| Im updating with my xbox. Whats up now hoebag. |
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| If things are actually looking up I may have gotten a job. |
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| Who wants my xanga? Password has been changed. Whoever wants to put Vlads Gay or whatever on here can go for it. Tell me if you would be interested in that. I dont feel liek being a good samaritan and freeing up space on the xanga servers. |
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